On Nov. 6th was my 6 month surgiversary as they call it in the weight loss surgery world. It has been 6 months since I laid on the operating tabled, signed the consent form allowing my surgeon to reroute my insides to assist with major weight loss. I still trip thinking about it. By now, you would think that it would have set in but it hasn't.
I have lost 110lbs since the start of my 2 week liquid diet on April 22nd and 140 pounds total. Wow, 140 pounds since June 29th, 2012. How amazing is that? I think it is totally fucking awesome. Something, I would have never been able to do without the help of gastric bypass. Having this surgery hasn't only effected me physical but it also takes your through a mental journey as well. That journey is the hard part for me.
I have been extremely lucky. During these last 6 months I have only been sick 5 times. First time was 2 days after surgery. I was already at home and on my "can have list" was diluted no sugar added apple juice. I sent J to the store for the apple juice as we didn't have any on hand. I even looked at the bottle when he got home and confirmed it was the correct kind. However, he did not dilute it enough and after a few sips and an "Awe this taste amazing" I was running to the bathroom to throw up. I had my first experience with the "dumping syndrome". Needless to say I haven't had apple juice since then. So, the next experience was on the 4th of July. I had grilled pork chops and boy where they good. So good, that I ate 1 bite to many and my new stomach let me know that it wasn't going to happen. The pork chop came back up. I have ran into this 3 other times.
It's one of the reason's why I choose Gastric Bypass. I needed to have that physical restriction. That reminder that you CAN NOT binge on food anymore. It works out well. I DO NOT feel deprived of food at all. I have always loved meat and that is where most protein comes from. It works out. I hate that if the off chance I want to have a large slice of pie, or cake, or even a candy bar that I can not but it is what it is. I wouldn't change the way I feel today for any of those things.
So as far as what to expect to lose from surgery. With Gastric Bypass surgery, you are expected to lose 70% of your access body fat. My bariatric program expects me to lose 150 - 160 pounds from having gastric bypass surgery. With sticking to the program and exercising at least 4-5 days a week for an hour a day I hoping to exceed that. I am down 110 pounds so far so by their standards I have only about 40-50 pounds to lose before my weight loss stops. I am only 6 months post op at this point so praying that I can reach my goal weight of 175 pounds by Nov 2014. That puts me 18 months post op. With Gastric Bypass you lose weight up to 18 months post op. After that it is harder for the weight to come off.
Those are my ramblings for the day. Next time I thing I might touch on the subject of babies. Not an easy subject and all this plays a huge part in future babies.
Much Love Dolls
Monday, November 11, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
I suck at Blogging but wanna be good at it.
It's now Nov and I haven't updated since July. No big deal, I don't think anyone really looks at this but me. As always, I have so much to say and don't know where to start. So, much has changed since my progress photo update. I am down a total 140lbs. My life is so much better and my marriage has never been better.
I think I want this blog to be about the mental journey this has taken me on. Everyone can see the physical but the mental I only have access to unless I bring it out for the rest of the world. Now that I have a working laptop to make it easier to blog from I should be able to keep up this. I don't want to get into to much as it is 2:40am. I plan to make it my goal to atleast blog once a week or maybe more. At least once a week ago. For anyone that does see this, I can ramble a bit. I will try to stay on track as much as possible but if I don't ramble a bit it wouldn't be me. So for anyone following watch for updates.
I think I want this blog to be about the mental journey this has taken me on. Everyone can see the physical but the mental I only have access to unless I bring it out for the rest of the world. Now that I have a working laptop to make it easier to blog from I should be able to keep up this. I don't want to get into to much as it is 2:40am. I plan to make it my goal to atleast blog once a week or maybe more. At least once a week ago. For anyone that does see this, I can ramble a bit. I will try to stay on track as much as possible but if I don't ramble a bit it wouldn't be me. So for anyone following watch for updates.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Guess I,m Not Such a Good Blogger
Wow, it was been awhile since I last posted. Need to figure out how to get on top of this blogging thing. So much to say, and there just don't seem to be enough space to say it all. My last post was Oct 10th and so much has happened since then. How can I sum up what happened between Oct and Feb. Hmm, I had my psychological evaluation, last weigh-in, met with nutritionist, and submitted paperwork to insurance for approval. It was a log process, much longer than I had anticipated it would ever be. My evaluation didn't turn out good and the Dr wanted me to have therapy before surgery. After working with the surgeons office they decided that they would be okay with scheduling the surgery after I had went to my first therapy appointment. I had my first therapy appointment on Jan. 4th. By the following week my paper work was submitted for approval. It took until Feb to get a response. DENIED!! I couldn't believe it. Why you ask. From the time that I started the process to submitting the insurance paperwork. My insurance changed where the approved places where to have the surgery done it. The place I was going through was no longer covered. I had given up. Little did I know that my surgeons office hadn't. They fought with my insurance company and was able to get the surgery approved. I got the call on Feb 25th. I was supposed to set up my surgery day with-in the next 30 days. Unfortunately, I couldn't schedule that quick. I had my 4 hour appoint and pre-op class on April 11th. Choose my surgery day for May 6th. I couldn't believe that FINALLY the time had come. It was such a mind fuck. I am glad that I waited until May 6th to have the surgery. I was able to fully prepare myself and to know 100% I want to take this journey.
I have now been on this journey for 9 weeks and it has been pretty uneventful. On April 22nd the start of my 2 week liquid diet I weighed in at 383lbs. I now weigh some where between 325 and 321. On the morning of my surgery I weighed 366. I have lost roughly 43lbs in 9 weeks. It's crazy and I still have days where I try to wrap my head around it. I feel exactly the way I did 4 months ago. I don't feel smaller and only notice it in how my clothes fit. I am excited to see what the next 10 months have in store for me. I think I am going to stop at this point. The husband is bitching for the computer and I want to get lost in thoughts and music for the next couple hours. PEACE, LOVE AND HAPPINESS!!
Oh and check out this song...it's one of my new favs, maybe even my new theme song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4
I have now been on this journey for 9 weeks and it has been pretty uneventful. On April 22nd the start of my 2 week liquid diet I weighed in at 383lbs. I now weigh some where between 325 and 321. On the morning of my surgery I weighed 366. I have lost roughly 43lbs in 9 weeks. It's crazy and I still have days where I try to wrap my head around it. I feel exactly the way I did 4 months ago. I don't feel smaller and only notice it in how my clothes fit. I am excited to see what the next 10 months have in store for me. I think I am going to stop at this point. The husband is bitching for the computer and I want to get lost in thoughts and music for the next couple hours. PEACE, LOVE AND HAPPINESS!!
Oh and check out this song...it's one of my new favs, maybe even my new theme song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Happening So Quickly
With my last post I know I was all over the place. Honestly, that's just me. I always have things running through my mind and when I think something is important I say it. Even though it might seem out of the blue it works for me and close friends and family are used to it.
Its getting closer to my physic evaluation and meeting with the Bariatric nutritionist. They are on the same day (Friday) but 3 1/2 hours apart. I thought the Bariatric appointment was at 2:45 but its at 1:15 and the physic evaluation is at 8 am. If the physic appoint gets over after 9 am there is no way I can make it in time. I am stressed a freaking out. So tomorrow I am going to the Bariatric office and see if my appointment could get moved later or if someone canceled later in the day. Other wise I am going to have to cancel my physic appointment and I really wanted to have that out of the way by the time I went to the Bariatric appointment. Boy I must like making things difficult on myself.
Have I mentioned yet how things are moving quickly. I can't believe I have one more weigh-in. This 6 months have really flown by. I am down a grand total of 32 pounds so far. I can't believe that on my own I was able to lose 32 pounds. From my understand once I meet with the Bariatric nutritionist I will be set up with an appointment to go to a 4 hour class to explain everything that will be happening and how eating is going to change and what will happen before and post-op. Once I have my last weigh in in Nov. the Bariatric Center will submit all my paper work to my insurance for approval. Once they get the approval back they will call with a surgery date and tell me when I need to start my liquid diet. It is so close but so far away.
I'm getting more nervous, scared, and excited. Nervous because I am electing to have to have a major surgery, Scared something will go wrong or I will be sick and miserable after I have the surgery. Excited that I will have my life back. I am ready to be a new person, to have energy, to hike and do physical activities that won't were me out after a couple minutes. I can't wait to feel healthy and to look healthy.
Its getting closer to my physic evaluation and meeting with the Bariatric nutritionist. They are on the same day (Friday) but 3 1/2 hours apart. I thought the Bariatric appointment was at 2:45 but its at 1:15 and the physic evaluation is at 8 am. If the physic appoint gets over after 9 am there is no way I can make it in time. I am stressed a freaking out. So tomorrow I am going to the Bariatric office and see if my appointment could get moved later or if someone canceled later in the day. Other wise I am going to have to cancel my physic appointment and I really wanted to have that out of the way by the time I went to the Bariatric appointment. Boy I must like making things difficult on myself.
Have I mentioned yet how things are moving quickly. I can't believe I have one more weigh-in. This 6 months have really flown by. I am down a grand total of 32 pounds so far. I can't believe that on my own I was able to lose 32 pounds. From my understand once I meet with the Bariatric nutritionist I will be set up with an appointment to go to a 4 hour class to explain everything that will be happening and how eating is going to change and what will happen before and post-op. Once I have my last weigh in in Nov. the Bariatric Center will submit all my paper work to my insurance for approval. Once they get the approval back they will call with a surgery date and tell me when I need to start my liquid diet. It is so close but so far away.
I'm getting more nervous, scared, and excited. Nervous because I am electing to have to have a major surgery, Scared something will go wrong or I will be sick and miserable after I have the surgery. Excited that I will have my life back. I am ready to be a new person, to have energy, to hike and do physical activities that won't were me out after a couple minutes. I can't wait to feel healthy and to look healthy.
Friday, October 12, 2012
So Many Words....
I have so many words running through my mind and I am really not sure where to start. Do I start with why I got fat, why I decided to have a major surgery to assist with losing weight. There are so many words I am just not sure where to begin.
I am sitting here watching the cursor blinking, going over all the words and trying to figure out what to say first. No matter what I say it will not compare to the failure I feel inside. With just a couple months before my surgery I am working hard on the deep feelings I have inside to come to terms with the situation that I got myself into and the help I am needing to over come it. Now, I know that my loved ones will say I am not a failure but it just doesn't change that feeling inside. I assume that will always be a part of me and I just need to deal with it and move on.
It wasn't until a little over a year ago that I really started to feel the effects of my weight on my body. Walking to the store with my husband wasn't easy and after a block or two my back would start hurting. Sometimes I literally thought it would just break in half. I would think "fuck they say to walk but its killing me". I started looking into weight loss options. I have done weight watchers a couple and yes it worked for a short time but it wasn't for me. I tried prescribed weight loss pills and that didn't work. Eating healthy been there, hell I even joined a gym a few dozen times and at first I was very good at going. I was hell bent on becoming an exercise guru but that didn't happen either. The hunger was overwhelming. I wish I could explain to everyone who doesn't know what the hunger feeling feels like. Some many people say that after so long it goes away but let me tell you, it didn't. It was at the point the hunger would get so bad the diet routine I was under would fail. As I was feeling effects of the weight I realized that for me to exceed at weight loss I need to have surgery.
Now people have this preconceived notion that surgery is the easy way out. By all means it is not. I mean think about a 6-7 hour surgery, pain after surgery, having to give up things that you can splurge on when doing regular diets. Then the excessive amounts of extra skin because of how quickly the weight comes off. How is that the easy way out. I have friends that have dropped 100+ pounds with healthy eating and exercise. I am so proud of them and think they are amazing. Each person is different and each weight loss option is different for each person as well. We are all the same, we are wanting healthier lifestyles. They avenues is just different but the destination is the same.
Okay I will step off my soap box for now. As the months get closer to my surgery the more nervous I become. I am scared for my husband and the wait we will go through while I am in surgery. I'm nervous how things will go after surgery. I am so scared to have to rely on total support from my husband to help me the first few days after we get home. I am the care taker, I make sure the house is in order and bills are paid. Its not that he can't do it its just that I am the one the does it. Its scary to thing I am the one going to need the help. With that I am going to go for now and will be back in a couple days to get some more of the words out.
I am sitting here watching the cursor blinking, going over all the words and trying to figure out what to say first. No matter what I say it will not compare to the failure I feel inside. With just a couple months before my surgery I am working hard on the deep feelings I have inside to come to terms with the situation that I got myself into and the help I am needing to over come it. Now, I know that my loved ones will say I am not a failure but it just doesn't change that feeling inside. I assume that will always be a part of me and I just need to deal with it and move on.
It wasn't until a little over a year ago that I really started to feel the effects of my weight on my body. Walking to the store with my husband wasn't easy and after a block or two my back would start hurting. Sometimes I literally thought it would just break in half. I would think "fuck they say to walk but its killing me". I started looking into weight loss options. I have done weight watchers a couple and yes it worked for a short time but it wasn't for me. I tried prescribed weight loss pills and that didn't work. Eating healthy been there, hell I even joined a gym a few dozen times and at first I was very good at going. I was hell bent on becoming an exercise guru but that didn't happen either. The hunger was overwhelming. I wish I could explain to everyone who doesn't know what the hunger feeling feels like. Some many people say that after so long it goes away but let me tell you, it didn't. It was at the point the hunger would get so bad the diet routine I was under would fail. As I was feeling effects of the weight I realized that for me to exceed at weight loss I need to have surgery.
Now people have this preconceived notion that surgery is the easy way out. By all means it is not. I mean think about a 6-7 hour surgery, pain after surgery, having to give up things that you can splurge on when doing regular diets. Then the excessive amounts of extra skin because of how quickly the weight comes off. How is that the easy way out. I have friends that have dropped 100+ pounds with healthy eating and exercise. I am so proud of them and think they are amazing. Each person is different and each weight loss option is different for each person as well. We are all the same, we are wanting healthier lifestyles. They avenues is just different but the destination is the same.
Okay I will step off my soap box for now. As the months get closer to my surgery the more nervous I become. I am scared for my husband and the wait we will go through while I am in surgery. I'm nervous how things will go after surgery. I am so scared to have to rely on total support from my husband to help me the first few days after we get home. I am the care taker, I make sure the house is in order and bills are paid. Its not that he can't do it its just that I am the one the does it. Its scary to thing I am the one going to need the help. With that I am going to go for now and will be back in a couple days to get some more of the words out.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Off to a Bad Start
Well, the journey did not start off to well. As you can tell my the date. It is now May 25, 2010. Alot has happened since that post. I quit my job and my husband and I moved to a new town. I started work right away. However, we have been living with one of my besties. It was not a ideal situation to lose weight in.
About three weeks ago a co-worker has got me hooked on the show "The Biggest Loser" and it just made me realize that, I am capable of losing the weight. I just have to overcome the fact that not all situation are ideal. If I want to live a long life and do physcial things and play with my kids outside then I have to get into shape. I see this being a long journey but I rewarding one. I have decided that what is going to work best for me is working in stages. The first stage is exercising. For the next 6 months starting today, I pledge to walk 5 days a week 2 miles a day. Every 3 weeks I will increase the miles by one. After 6 months I will start working on eating healthy. I have became aware of what to do and how to do and from day to day try to implament something. After the 6 months of eating healthy and exercising is when I will remove soda from my diet. I am hoping that by then I will have lost at least 50lbs and a whole new me.
I pray that I have the strenghth and the courage to complete this journey with outstanding results. I want to show my future children that you can accomplish anything. I completed my 2 mile walk today. It is the second time I have done it. It was by all means not easier than the first time. I think it may have been harder. I can't wait to start seeing the results.
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