Even though I miscarried Oct 4th, 2014 will be marked as one of the happiest days off my life. I am in a sharing mood and thought I would share the story of how I learned that I was pregnant. Yes, the person who had been trying to conceive a baby for 5 years didn't realize she was pregnant.
On Sept 9, 2009 Josh and I celebrated our 5th anniversary with a day trip to Branson, Mo. While at Branson Landing we decided to make our "Hope" bear,with the idea that one day we would be able to hand this bear down to our child. Around Sept 22nd, some things started to change. However, I did not realize them at the time.
There may have been an increase in fatigue, sore boobs, and the one thing that should of told me that there was something going on. My increased desire for DQ blizzards. I am not exaggerating when I say the craving was insane. The more chocolate the better. After the 4th consecutive day of my daily trip to DQ for that yummy goodness, Josh sat me down and expressed his concern for my new addiction. I had gastric bypass surgery and downing a medium DQ blizzard every day probably wasn't the best idea. Disclaimer, I did not eat the whole thing in one sitting, that would be silly. I could make it last most of the day lol. I told him it was just a phase and it would be all okay. These daily trips continued for about a week.
On Sept 29th I traveled to NE for 5 days to be with my friend when she had my god son. I learned that due to a horrible storm there was no cafeteria, the only food I had to choose from was a vend machine sandwiches. While heating up my COLD breakfast sandwich in the first 10 seconds the microwave stopped. And all the vending machines had lost power. I was so upset that I walked back to my friends room sat in the corner and asked to just be left alone for a bit. In reality, I could have drove the 6 blocks to the grocery store and bought the cottage cheese since that was what I was truly craving but idea of leaving the hospital exhausted me I had never felt such devastation over food in my whole life as I did at that moment. It is silly to think about as it really wasn't a big deal. I had a car and money and could have easily went somewhere else for food.
During, these days at the hospital my friend and I had time to catch and we had discussed my infertility and where I was at with getting pregnant. She had this insane idea that I might be pregnant right at that moment due to some of the things I had told her that had been happening the last couple of weeks. I was 100% positive that it wasn't possible at that time. I left NE about 4 pm for the 8 hour Dr home on Oct 3rd. During the lonely dr home I had thought about Carrie and I's conversation a lot. She was so instant that the possibility of pregnancy was great. I decided I would prove her wrong. So, once I made it back to Springfield I stopped at Wal-Mart and picked up 2 88 cent pregnancy test. I woke up the next morning, took the test and couldn't wait to text Carrie and gloat how right I was.
I grabbed the test to throw it away and thought I was hallucinating. Insert ugly cry. I started to freak out (Moriah style). I didn't want to wake Josh until someone confirmed that I had not lost my mind. Since Carrie had a 5 day old baby and 2 little boys, I Didn't want to bother her, so I tried reaching my friend Becca. I decided I would photograph the test and send it to her to confirm that there was indeed 2 lines. Not realizing that it was 6:30 AM Cali time. After 5 min of her not answering and now being in hysterics, it was time to wake Josh up.
I grab the test and run into the bedroom crying my eyes out and jump on him. He was sleeping, and sleeps like a hibernating bear at that. I'm crying and screaming for him to wake up. He wakes up and looks at me and I chuck the pee stick at his face and demand that he tell me if he sees one line or two. Still half asleep he says what, again I demand he look at the test and tell me if he sees I one line or two. Josh says "what are you talking about". I point to the test and repeat my demand. He grabs the test off the pillow beside his head glances at it and proceeds to hand it back to me saying "I don't know how to read this." Once more demanding he look at the fucking test and tell me if he sees one line or two. He looks at the test and says plain as day "there are 2 lines". I began to ugly cry more and start saying omg Josh I am pregnant, really pregnant. Josh gets the goofiest grin I have ever seen and says really?. Still in shock I say well let me make sure and run back to the bathroom and take the other test (thank god I thought to pee in a cup). That test was positive too.
Still not sure if I was dreaming, I demand Josh shower so we can go to the dr and I head to Wal-Mart for more Test. After a digital with the words pregnant, I calmed down enough to head to the clinic to get blood test to confirm our pregnancy. Oct 4, 2014 is and will be one of the best days of my life even though it is the same day I learned that I might lose my pregnancy. We had finally did it, after 5 years we were finally pregnant. It is by far the best feeling in the whole entire world. Having that feeling, I can only imagine what it feels like to look into the face of your child for the first time. I CAN NOT WAIT.
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